From Dismay to Delight

Walking into Kinko’s with a handful of IRS documents, I was confronted by a room full of busy machines, busy employees and a man standing in line with a similar stack of papers, looking around for help and an empty machine. Luckily, I also needed a new ink cartridge so I turned around and made the short stroll across the parking lot to Office Depot.

What a refreshing choice that turned out to be?

I was greeted by the manager who offered assistance, verified my order, handed me off to another employee who assisted in locating the printer cartridge while the manager proceeded to make my copies. Moments later, the manager met me at the counter, completed my transaction and thanked me for the business. It was a simple exchange that he repeats dozens of times a day.

This is by no means a ground-breaking example of exceptional customer service on behalf of Office Depot. Nor is it a mark against Kinko’s, they did nothing to lose my business, they were simply busy.

It is simply an example little details adding up to create a bright picture and repeat business. Office Depot’s responsive and customer-centric staff made a positive difference in my afternoon and the choices I make moving forward.

How does your firm ensure clients aren’t met with a busy signal?

Am I going to be tested on this?

At first glance, this question is reminiscent of high school and college years, it reflects a certain laziness, a desire to make it through on minimum effort without accidentally learning anything.

However, as the vivid break-outs and keynotes of LMA 2012 are muted with time and a crowded catch-up inbox, the question is strikingly efficient: sorting through noise to distill vital information is critical in a time-sensitive environment.

• Have I followed up with new and old colleagues that I met in the halls and exhibits of the conference? 
• Did I take any actions to insight loyalty among my clients following the inspirational keynote by James Kane?
• Have I transcribed the notes I so busily scribbled while they are still legible?

I have not, thank you for asking. I wrote this blog post instead.

A brief meditation on relationships

You'd be hard-pressed to find a word more prevalent than relationships when it comes to law firm business development efforts. Relationships dominate discussions about client surveys, internal communications and  vendor agreements.

It's surprising to me, the first day into my grocery budget challenge, how much my relationship to food has changed in one day. No longer can I wander mindlessly through the store grabbing the food that strikes me at the moment. It really has to be a decision made about the value of the item. For example, will this hunk of cheese fit more than one item on the week's menu? Will the short-term benefit of eating the thing that looks really, really good in the moment sabotage my long-term goal?

For the record, one day in and I'm still on track spending only $ 15 at the store yesterday (though I did cheat slightly by starting with a full pantry!).

Time, like money, is a limited resource. It's critical to make the most of every interaction with external and internal clients lest they be taken for granted like the overripe banana that looked tasty at the time, but I just didn't get a chance to use.

What's in a name?

We all fight battles to become ourselves. For some, these battles are more public.

Though most of the work takes place inside my head, gender identity is the most imposing public battle of my life. It's been a struggle to find the comfortable space between the person I know myself to be inside and how the world reads me outwardly. A decades-long progression from one extreme to the next, in tiny shades of gray.


As a child I realized that my decisions were a bit against the grain and didn't mirror the expected pattern of my peers. Pink or blue? Long hair or short? Dress or pants? I always opted for the latter. It was a surprise to me that others were surprised by these tendencies toward the traditional male agenda. Lederhosen, not a derndel. GI Joe, not Barbie. These assertions began a long external conversation, played out over the course of my life, with my parents at first and then with kids at school, colleagues. At the core, I always fought hardest with myself: who am I? who am I meant to be? I knew the answer before I had the language to explain it: the clothes I put on and the games that I played as a girl never fit. I had to become someone else in order to make those things work.

Now that I've publicly changed my name, it's about time to take ownership of this decision.  This post  from Danielle LaPorte sparked a shift in my perspective. While one person is walking around in the world thinking that changing the name of a website is a big deal, another is walking around with his personal name hanging loosely from a thread. I keep my new name associated closely enough to get through in life, but I have yet to grab hold so tight as to prevent a strong wind from pulling it away. 

Now is about time. If I am to expect lucid and direct communication from the world, then I ought to do the same in return.

Here is my first public step. Goodbye to Paula. Hello, Paul.